Women Business Owners Trusted Source
Let a man be a man- Her point of view
In this age of the supposed “man shortage” it begs the question, are we running our men off because we won’t let them play their part? Are we so much of a woman that we’ve become the man? I know you’re holding it down, the career, the clothes, the car, the house, and raising the kids. You’ve got it all under control. One thing is missing though…the actual man.Of course you don’t need a man because you’re the CEO, or the Senior VP but wouldn’t it be nice to have someone around the house on a regular basis, maybe even a husband?
Well, could it be that we are so busy trying to prove that we don’t need them, that we have actually taken ourselves out of the running for a man? Ever notice that the women who act like they can’t do anything seem to have men falling at their feet? Yes, because men like to fix things! It makes them feel needed. It’s innate and necessary for them to do in order for them to feel validated as men.
Yes it’s true that both sexes play a part in relationships. That is not to say that either sex is incapable of doing anything, but what I am saying is that there’s a natural gifting that each sex brings to the table, so why not let those abilities flow? We act like having a role makes us incapable of stepping outside of it if necessary. Nothing could be further from the truth, but if we are ever going to have harmonious relationships then we have to realize that both parties cannot play the same role at the same time.
Growing up that little “s” word (submit) always upset me. It made me feel like someone else would be controlling my life and I decided I wasn’t going to allow it to happen under any circumstance. I didn’t want to ask anyone before I made a purchase or have to cater to anyone like Edith Bunker. If I was asked to get some juice from the fridge, I’d want to say get your own juice if you want some…the refrigerator is in the same place it was this morning.
But then I thought about it, if I expect my mate to do things that I think are manly such as mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, changing the oil, putting air in the tire etc. and I expect him to do those things with no question, is it not fair of me to expect to have to give something of myself? Is it too much for me to bring him a cool drink while he’s outside in the hot sun washing my car?
So then it got me thinking. If a man’s natural role is to be the provider and protector of the family and that’s how he’s wired, and I’m the nurturer and helper and that’s how I’m wired. It seems to me, that this strikes a perfect balance. So why not let him do his job and I do mine. Neither is more important or less. They are complementary and beneficial to the goal which is a whole relationship.
They key is to select the proper mate. Someone who sees you as the queen you are and respects and requests your input, someone with vision and a plan to bring that vision to fruition. Trust me you won’t mind someone leading you that knows where he’s going.
Nothing is sexier than a man that knows what he wants, is going for it, and still wants to have a strong woman that he can spoil. Allow him to be your King, let him do what he is naturally equipped to do. Let him take some of the weight you’ve been carrying. You might find that it’s just what you’ve been looking for all your life. Go ahead girl and let that man be a man, you just might get a husband...or keep one.
By: Angela Fitch
Get the mans point of view on page 21 in Shepreneur Magazine http://onlinemag.shepreneur.com
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Rita Cartwright on -
Angela, I agree with you wholeheartedly. If we read the Bible and obey what it says, this is right on point. The problem is having a man that deserves that from us women. The man you described in your post is that type of man. He does his part and I do mine. Most importantly, have mutual respect for each other.
Rita
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Permalink Reply by Brenda Caldwell on -
This is an awesome writing that will cause some of us to look closely at where our relationships are headed if we don't get some clarity on what role we play.
Thanks Angela
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Permalink Reply by Angela Fitch on -
Thanks for the warm words Brenda. I certainly didn't think this way until quite recently and I'm still learning.
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Permalink Reply by Sharon A. Keyser-Jackson on -
Amen, Sistah!
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Permalink Reply by Denise Lewis on -
This is indeed right on point and as Angela stated if we would read and apply Gods word we would understand that this is the divine order that God has set in place for us!
Sharon A. Keyser-Jackson said:Amen, Sistah!
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Permalink Reply by Zina M. Gross on -
FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE WHO AGREES WITH ME. I watched my father work 2 and 3 jobs to be the man taking care of the family. My mother had his bath water ready when he came home, and his plate and beverage on the table when he came downstairs. My father always said there was no other woman worthy of touching the ground my mother walked on. We forget that we have roles. When we want to do it all it upsets the balance and men settle and want to be taken care of in the ways they should be taking care of us. They need to feel spoiled just like we do. If they don't get it one way then they will capitalize on what we are willing to do. Thank you Angela!!!!!!!!
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Permalink Reply by Regina M. Jeter on
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I hear you Angela and agree to let a man be a man. However sometimes its very hard when you think you have the better plan or he takes too long to make a decision on important issues. I was told personally and have read that God's order for the family structure is: man, woman then children. Sometimes we have to look past man and trust God's order for us to do that little "s" word, submit. If we do God will honor us for that decision to follow the man and make everything right because of our willingness to submit. Ladies it is very hard to do, but like Angela said, "let the man be the man." Life could get easier.
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Permalink Reply by Pamela S. Scruggs on -
Recently, I watched the Video: Diary of a Tired Black Man. OMG it so hit home! We certainly have moved farther away from being the Virtuos Woman to our men (my opinion) into a very different stance. It seems, as a group, we've become more like gate-keepers "you may come in: if I say so", "you may stay here: unless I tire of you", you will endure drama, pressure and sassy/disrespectful comments from me: or I will dismiss you!" We create an apprehension in our men that makes them hesitant to trudge ahead FOR US because we exude the message: "You can do it-only if I approve" . We, being the spokeswomen that we are, can send "those messages" so strikingly to our men, I am certain, they must feel more at ease being away from our microscopic scruitiny than in our company. We've got to enable our men to LEAD, thay don't need our permission, it was their God-given right. Let's focus more on fulfilling our role and let them fulfill there's without stoning them. Praise your Man...everyday! Make "home" a sanctuary...
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