I wish a brother would

By the time you finish reading this paragraph; one Black woman will be battered by her husband or boyfriend. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence says a woman is battered by her husband or boyfriend in this country every 15 seconds, making domestic violence America's most common - but least reported - crime. And, experts report many of the victims are Black.

Those who don't understand say things like, "I'd leave him in a heartbeat if he ever hit me -- it would only take one time!" or “I wish a brother would”. God forbid domestic violence would ever happen to you. Most women say they would leave. If a man hit them it would be a deal breaker often times it’s just the beginning of a negotiation. On average, an abused woman will leave her partner 6-8 times.
And yet, despite repeated assaults, -- which can include trips to the emergency room, irreparable physical damage, alienation from family and friends, deteriorating self-esteem, children who live in fear, repeated calls for police protection, and threats of death, -- many women remain with the men who abuse them.

There can be many reasons, with more than one contributing to the problem. The categories are not discrete, with many overlapping characteristics.

The Safety Net:
It may be familiar, and oddly enough,
a comfortable lifestyle.
The Blind:
Not realizing it is "abuse."
The Worthless:
"No one else would ever love me."
The Defective:
"I deserved it; I'll do better."
The Manager:
"I can keep it from happening again."
The Gullible:
"He's really sorry, and it won't happen again."
The Pretender:
"I know I make him sound terrible, but he's
really a good person most of the time."
The Defender:
"He didn't mean to hurt me."
The Caretaker:
"No one else understands him the way I do."
The Fantasizer:
"But I love him."
The Martyr:
"He isn't hurting the children;
if he ever did, I'd leave."
The Helpless:
"I can't support the children on my own."
The Hopeless:
"He'll kill me if I try to leave him."

Help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 170 languages through interpreter services. If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.


Shepreneur Magazine will alway promote healthy relationships. If you need assistance with getting out of a harmful or hurtful situation call Shepreneur Magazine 888-304-6635 or visit www.shepreneur.com